Posted October 2, 2007 in Film

A widowed fireman named Larry (Kevin James) and Chuck, his horndog coworker (Adam Sandler, aging fast), sidestep an insurance snag as preposterous as anything Michael Moore could skewer by pretending to be domestic partners, or “paper faggots,” as Chuck so charmingly dubs them. These tracksuited bros-before-hoes may be used to sliding down big poles, but they’d rather punch each other in the face then consummate their wedding kiss. What follows offends everyone, as Sandler and James hulk around like awkward bears and live in fear of dropping the soap, raising a son who prefers Pippin! to Little League, and visiting the men’s public restroom at a rave they nickname Homopalooza. The embarrassingly meat-headed gags go on to slander fat people (those farting monstrosities!), women (those bimbos!), old women (those sluts!), blacks (those thugs!), Asians (those camera-crazy mispronouncers!), and Asian women (those Tila Tequila floozies!). As the voice of non-homophobic reason, Jessica Biel glows with sanity; still, by the time Sandler wises up at the climax and schools the audience that anti-gay slurs are bad (never mind that that’s all he’s been feeding us for two hours), those with a conscience have already fled the theater for the comparatively tasteful charms of Captivity. (Amy Nicholson)



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