Summer Music Haiku Preview!

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Posted October 3, 2007 in Music

Chris Isaak at Pechanga Resort & Casino, Saturday

Seductive crooner

But sexy pipes disguise some

Rather ho-hum tunes

 

L.A. Guns at Incahoots, June 29

Longhair metal dudes

Ancient, yet still better than 

Axl’s latest Guns

 

John Tesh at Riverside Convention Center, June 29

Born-again “smooth” jazz

Music that makes Jesus snore

Sent by the devil

 

Throwrag at the Vibe, June 29

Salton Sea chanteys

And songs to get totally

Tanked on. Rock & rooooll!

 

The Warped Tour at Pomona Fairplex, June 29

Corporate music

Still sucks, especially when

Marketed as “punk”

 

The Beach Boys at Pechanga, July 13-14

It’s the Mike Love Show

No Brian, Carl or Dennis

Guess no one cares. Sad.

 

Willie Nelson at Pala Casino Spa & Resort, July 15

Don’t bogart that joint

Not when Willie’s around you

He’ll take your arm off

 

Ozzfest at Hyundai Pavilion, July 21

Sure, tickets are free

But is that worth the torture

Of hearing bad songs?

 

Hootie & the Blowfish at Pechanga, July 26

What could we say here

That hasn’t been said before?

Dull yuppie tunes? Yes.

 

KISS at Soboba Casino, July 27

Rock & roll all night

Don’t forget the wheelchair, Gene!

Geezer metal rules!

 

Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance and Taking Back Sunday at Hyundai Pavilion, July 28

Grrr! Woof! Hiss! Angry!

Grow up, silly little boys

And get a real job

 

Clay Aiken at Pala Casino Spa & Resort, Aug. 3

He’s gay! No, he’s not!

Oh, yes he IS! No he’s NOT!

But grandma likes him 

 

Don Henley at Soboba, Aug. 10

He’ll play Eagles songs

And we won’t have to deal with

Annoying Joe Walsh

 

Rage Against the Machine at Hyundai Pavilion, Aug. 11

Coachella gig was

Way too crowded for humans

More elbow room, please!

 

Diana Krall at Pechanga, Aug. 21

Why would a sexy

Chanteuse like her be schtupping

Elvis Costello?

 

Credence Clearwater Revisited at Pechanga, Sept. 2

With no Fogerty

They’re just a boring bar band

Scavenging the past

 

Al Green and Etta James at Soboba Casino, Sept. 7

Al and Queen Etta?

A bill made in soul heaven

You don’t go, you’re deaf

 

Starship starring Mickey Thomas at Soboba Casino, Sept. 12

From the guy who sang

“We Built This City” on rock

Quick, run for your lives!

 

Chicago at Pala Casino Spa & Resort, Sept. 14

Seventies horn act

Made James Taylor seem punk rock

The band that killed jazz

 

Big & Rich at the L.A. County Fair, Pomona, Sept. 22

Know why country sucks?

You need to look no further

Than these bland wankers 


 


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