TUESDAY, DECEMBER 12
The sexiest member of the Jurupa Unified school board? It allegedly resides in the pants of Michael Rodriguez—and, really, wouldn’t we all like to? Well, all of us except Tamara Elzig, the assistant superintendent of personnel for Jurupa Unified, who complains that Rodriguez made sexually harassing comments, advances and threats toward her earlier this year. And probably not Rodriguez’s colleagues on the school board, either. They just finished reading the results of an independent investigation into Elzig’s complaints about Rodriguez—it pretty much confirmed all of her charges–and inasmuch as they forgot to wear plastic gloves and a surgeon’s mask before they paged through the sleazy report, they’re probably wondering if they caught something. Then again, they’re obviously not as sexy as Rodriguez, who is handsome, confident, temperamental and … dare we say it, cocky? Oh, yes, YES, YES, we dare: cocky, COCKY, COCKY! Reading excerpts from the report, compiled by the respected Riverside firm of Gresham Savage Nolan and Tilden, make me hot, HOT, HOT! Why couldn’t it have been me, instead of Elzig, working in the kitchen at that school bus drivers’ breakfast in April to hear Rodriguez say things like, “I’ve never seen you looking sexier,” and “You girls look great with a spatula.” I’d love to show him my spatula! Why couldn’t it have been me at the July 3 school board meeting to hear him say, “Come here, Sweetheart, we need to talk,” and me telling him things that get him so infuriated he grabs my arm and says, “If you ever do that again I will take you down …I will publicly break you down! Are we clear?” But no, I missed all that. Now I’ve got to settle for the next meeting of the Jurupa Unified school board meeting, where its sexiest member may be publicly admonished. I’m not sure, exactly, what a “public admonishment” entails, but it sounds kinda pervy when you say it a certain way. Then again, so does “Jurupa Unified.”
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 13
Just when you think they have run out of ways to insult San Bernardino, the head of the city’s parks and recreation department announces he is resigning to take a similar job in Texas.
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 14
Tariffs on steel imported to the United States from Canada, France, Australia and Japan are lifted by the International Trade Commission, but the change isn’t expected to hurt Inland Empire steel producers such as Tamco Steel in Fontana and California Steel Industries in Rancho Cucamonga. See, that’s because the tariffs focused on high-grade, corrosion-resistant sheet steel used in manufacturing cars, and we don’t make much of that around here. Local steelmakers, meanwhile, are known for varieties like rebar, hot-rolled steel and pickled-and-oiled steel. And anybody who has tried them doesn’t have to ask why: they’re delicious!
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15
The campaign promises that got Bill Postmus elected San Bernardino County Assessor—the ones about improving the climate for local employment, streamlining services, protecting taxpayers–are, what, five or six weeks old now? In politics, that’s ancient history. Postmus doesn’t even take office until next month—technically, he’s still a county supervisor–and he’s already got new priorities. Like, having a really bitchin’ office. Like, $2.8 million worth of bitchin’. And Postmus thought he knew just where he could get the money—from an allotment intended to update and expand the services of a High Desert fire station that protects people in the Cajon Pass, Oak Hills and Hesperia…basically Postmus’ own neighbors. Sadly for Postmus, his proposal was removed from the Board of Supervisors agenda. Sadder for the people of San Bernardino County, Postmus is taking another shot at an expensive makeover for his new offices—this one for $1.6 million. Saddest is that a guy with this kind of wacked-out financial sense is the county assessor—responsible for determining the current assessed value of vacant land, improved real estate, business property, and certain manufactured homes, boats, and aircraft for property tax purposes.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 16
The surfacing of an old San Bernardino Unified School District handbook that refers to employees by degrading plays on imaginary names—provokes a demand for an apology by the president of the school employees union. We’re with him. Naming a hypothetical cafeteria worker “Stu Pidd” or a couple of office staffers “Hattie Nuff” and “Daryl Ict” simply is not funny. Not like the ex-girlfriend of mine who used to refer to her naughty bits as her “Janet Taylor.”
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 17
Vanessa Renee is back in town!
MONDAY, DECEMBER 18
Grand Terrace begins accepting applications to serve on its city council, which has had a vacant seat since councilwoman Maryetta Ferre was elected mayor in November, and if you’re curious about this town of 11,626 that’s wedged on high ground between San Bernardino and Riverside … well … that may just might qualify you for the job. Really. I went to the city’s website and clicked on the “Frequently Asked Questions” category … and … there aren’t any. Really. The council will accept applications for the position through Dec. 28, then conduct interviews and make a decision at its Jan. 9 meeting. If the council does not fill the vacancy within 30 days, a special election would have to be conducted, although that sounds like such a hassle. Call the city clerk’s office (909) 430-2212 if you have any questions. As if.