Perfect Holiday

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Posted December 13, 2007 in Film

Because I loathe Terrence Howard, I want the world to know that this yuletide dreck forces him to look into the camera and announce, “I wanna go dookie.” Lance Rivera’s moronically good-natured flick has only two bright spots: the shaming of misogynistic Oscar nominee Howard, and (I never thought I’d say this but) Chappelle’s Show hanger-on Charlie Murphy playing a P. Diddy/Jay-Z gangsta grinch named J-Jizzy whose rap hits include “I Love Ho Ho Hos” and “I Saw Momma Capping Santa Claus.” Nancy (Gabrielle Union), J-Jizzy’s ex-wife and baby momma to his three tykes John-John (Malik Hammond), Mikey (Jeremy Gumbs), and Emily (Khail Bryant), ain’t down with having a ho-nasty Christmas.  Instead, she’s got her eye on Benjamin (Morris Chestnut), a handsome stranger trying to pass himself off as a dull traveling office supplies salesman to hide his real job as a part-time mall Santa and dream career as an R&B crooner. (He does look marvelous in a turtleneck and white cap.) With a plot as formulaic and dimensional as a tray of cut-out sugar cookies and a dashed off air underscored by Howard and Queen Latifah’s brief cameos that could have been scripted and shot on their lunch break from a real movie across the lot, if tickets to this are hiding in your stocking, you’d be better off with a lump of coal. (Amy Nicholson)


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