Alley-Poop
0
Posted
April 24, 2008 in
Arts & Culture
With the NBA’s playoff schedule stretching for eons between games, an award-winning weekly publication such as this can jump in with our analysis and still come off as timely (if not prescient). Right, well, Pau Gasol doesn’t automatically recall the Showtime days of the Lake Show like the glittery Kurt Rambis might, but when Marcus Camby is guarding him, the seven-foot Spaniard gets a lot of orange rim paint on his fingers from easy dunks. Why? Well, firstly because Camby is a defensive specialist mostly in theory. He rebounds well, and blocks a few shots, but he also leads the league in yielding. Camby does a pretty good job of staying near Gasol, but near is still too close. The reason: Body Odor. Pau Gasol shares this one distinction with Kurt Rambis (Danny Schayes used to swat flies when Rambis would post him up in the ’80s). Pau Gasol stinks unmercifully, and it’s a big part of his game. Not only is he averaging 36 points and 16 rebounds per game so far, but he’s averaging forty spherical inches of bodily fumes. He’s the Lakers Most Ripest Player (MRP). Though it’s impossible for us to know the outcome of Game Two before press time, we acknowledge no disadvantages and proffer this prediction: This series will not go eight games. (Chuck Mindenhall)
With the NBA’s playoff schedule stretching for eons between games, an award-winning weekly publication such as this can jump in with our analysis and still come off as timely (if not prescient). Right, well, Pau Gasol doesn’t automatically recall the Showtime days of the Lake Show like the glittery Kurt Rambis might, but when Marcus Camby is guarding him, the seven-foot Spaniard gets a lot of orange rim paint on his fingers from easy dunks. Why? Well, firstly because Camby is a defensive specialist mostly in theory. He rebounds well, and blocks a few shots, but he also leads the league in yielding. Camby does a pretty good job of staying near Gasol, but near is still too close. The reason: Body Odor. Pau Gasol shares this one distinction with Kurt Rambis (Danny Schayes used to swat flies when Rambis would post him up in the ’80s). Pau Gasol stinks unmercifully, and it’s a big part of his game. Not only is he averaging 36 points and 16 rebounds per game so far, but he’s averaging forty spherical inches of bodily fumes. He’s the Lakers Most Ripest Player (MRP). Though it’s impossible for us to know the outcome of Game Two before press time, we acknowledge no disadvantages and proffer this prediction: This series will not go eight games. (Chuck Mindenhall)
