TUESDAY, OCTOBER 14
Joe Baca is a former semi-pro baseball player, and it sounds like the same can be said for his work as a congressman. The Rialto representative admits he cancelled meetings in order to watch last night’s playoff game between the Dodgers and Philadelphia Phillies—great to see his priorities in action. But justice prevailed, and fierce Santa Ana winds knocked out the power in Baca’s home. Baca apparently won’t be able to get out of a breast cancer prevention event at the Rialto Senior Center when the Dodgers play the Phils again Wednesday night, but offers some advice to the Dodgers pitching staff. “They’re just throwing BB’s down the middle,” Baca says. “If they need some off-speed stuff, I’m right here.” Off-speed? Can you describe Baca any better than that?
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15
Dodgers lose. Blue-hoo-hoo.
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 16
Diane Fedele of the Chaffey Community Republican Women is named Worst Person in the World by MSNBC political commentator Keith Olberman in his latest attempt to find someone odious enough to take the title away from him. Fedele is the despicable woman who created the racist “Obama Bucks” illustration that was included in the Chaffey Republican Women’s newsletter for October. I’m sure you’ve seen the drawing, which features the face of the Democratic presidential candidate on the front of a food stamp surrounded by watermelon, ribs, a pitcher of Kool-Aid and a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Naturally, Fedele claims ignorance—which probably goes without saying, although she ought to have also claimed hatefulness, arrogance and anti-American-ness while she was at it. Nonetheless, we probably ought to thank Fedele. Her little cartoon pretty much makes it impossible to deny the racism that so many people try to say doesn’t exist any more. The world will be a much better place when her type are dead and gone, but that doesn’t mean she’s the worst person in it. Olberman the Assholy will wear the crown for at least another week.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 17
In a report that somehow seems like an extension of Andy Dick’s subversively funny career—and highly disturbing life—the Riverside Press-Enterprise explains the comedic actor’s plea bargain with prosecutors at the Southwest Justice Center in Murrieta. And yes, I realize I just wrote “an extension of Andy Dick.” I’m pretty sure P-E reporter Julissa McKinnon isn’t unaware, either, when she includes a variety of unavoidably loaded phrases in her detailed account of Dick—there, I did it again—and his guilty plea to two misdemeanor charges of battery and possession of marijuana . . . after he peed in the parking lot of a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant and later pulled down a 17-year-old girl’s shirt and bra. The copy desk was undoubtedly laughing its ass off while editing a story that included such phrases as “Dick’s guilty plea,” “Dick will serve,” “police arrested Dick,” “Xanax in Dick’s pants,” “the bracelet will monitor Dick,” “the results will be downloaded,” “Dick will not be allowed,” “private monitoring,” “show Dick preferential treatment,” “Dick’s comedic fame,” and “Mr. Dick is glad.” No? It’s just me? Really?
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 18
It’s a warm evening of the type that have been bringing moviegoers to the Van Buren Drive-In Theater since 1964, and the beautiful mural—a 42-by-60 foot rendering of an iconic orange crate label—that has just been unveiled on the landmark’s original façade sets the mind to remembering. “It brings back good memories to see it looking so good now,” says Ron Bacon, the theater’s original manager, recalling opening night 44 years ago. “We gave out to every lady a fine orchid … and a cigar to every male.” Then the lights went down, the movie came up … and everybody started gettin’ it on.
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19
Speaking of which, ever spent the night in the Wigwam Motel?
MONDAY, OCTOBER 20
The November issue of O magazine—I think this one has Oprah Winfrey on the cover—has Sheila Hodgkin inside. The Redlands resident, the co-founder of an interactive gymnasium facility for children and seniors, is among 80 women selected by O magazine to attend Women Rule—a leadership-training event intended to strengthen American’s female leadership. So help us, Sarah Palin, we need it. But Hodgkin will, and she’ll also be on the Oprah show on November 25. She’s hoping to parlay her interaction with America’s queen bee into further expansion of XRtainment Zone, her “stealth exercise” gym, which combines entertainment systems—such as the Nintendo Wii—with unconventional gym equipment such as stationary skateboards and “Dance Dance Revolution,” as well as conventional stationary bicycles. The idea is that it sneaks exercise to people who might not normally do it. Hodgkin would like Oprah to use XRtainment at her girl’s school in South Africa. It might not be a bad idea for Oprah to use it, period.