Posted October 1, 2008 in News


Nobody can be happy with the state budget that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger finally signs today . . . well, with the possible exception of people who enjoy doing meth and then kicking their grandpa’s ass. After lawmakers turned in the budget a record 11 weeks after the deadline, Schwarzie made doodle marks on the thing for a week more, crossing out another $510 million in general fund spending that—surprise!—mainly took more from the poor and middle class . . .  and people addicted to meth and giving old folks what’s-for. That is, the governor cut $8 million from the California Methamphetamine Prevention Campaign, and a bunch more from programs dealing with elderly abuse. Then he put his boot up some elder-butt, hisownself, stripping $150.3 million for tax assistance to senior renters, $40.6 million to senior homeowners and $277,000 for prostate cancer treatment. Just to show it’s still all about the kids, Schwarzenegger chopped $1 million from lead poisoning prevention for children. Schwarzenegger says he has little choice because the budget passed by the legislature contained inadequate reserves at a time when the state’s economic outlook is precarious. “We have to live within our means,” Schwarzenegger said—well, he either said that or “I’ll have some more beans.” Who can tell what that dude’s saying through that Austrian gargle of his? Then he reportedly added, “It will be tough on some people, but it’s what we need to do”—well, either he said that or somebody ran over a dog.



Yes, the big explosion last night at a Cathedral City U-Haul was a sign of the apocalypse. It was caused by gas siphoners, who have targeted the lot several times this year, part of a trend that has spread throughout the Inland Empire . . . just as was predicted by the Mayan calendar, which maybe you already know forecasts the end of the world occurring on December 21, 2012—and which maybe you don’t know is the same day the last house in San Bernardino County will go into foreclosure at the current rate. Those Mayans were smart! Anyway, the explosion in Cathedral City caused $120,000 in damage, destroyed four trucks, charred a nearby storage facility—and probably whoever was trying to siphon gas out of those vehicles. You may remember that God said He would destroy the world by fire—Lord knows, water didn’t work; thanks a lot, Noah—and the current thievery of gasoline sets the stage nicely. “With gas prices going up, the economy being what it is with the mortgage crisis,” says Cathedral City Fire Chief Mike Hatfield, “the conditions are ripe for that.” Hatfield meant siphoning, not the end of the world. That’s what I mean. San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department spokeswoman Arden Wiltshire says siphoning has become “fairly common.” Authorities say gas-siphoning thieves do not shy away from vehicles parked close to houses or businesses. The sheriff’s office recommends that businesses and drivers purchase gas-cap locks, secure their parking lots and driveways and install bright lights to deter siphoners. Then, say their prayers.

All those years of backpacking, scuba diving, rappelling and everything else through 46 different countries got Gillian Larson just two weeks into Survivor. After struggling through her competitions—and getting on the nerves of a few of her tribe-mates—the 61-year-old retired Temecula nurse is booted off tonight’s episode of the 17th season of the reality show. Still, it’s pretty amazing. Can you believe Survivor has actually been on TV for 17 seasons? 



Gillian’s gone, but the Yucaipa urban pop group called S1—uhhh, run that by me again: Yucaipa … urban … pop … group—is still surviving on the MTV show Top Pop Group. The trio has made it through three weeks of competition so far, which is great for S1, sure, and a shout out to Yucaipa and all, but can the world really be spinning right if you can even say “Yucaipa urban pop group?”



Some things never change: Ralph Nader, one of the greatest Americans of the last century, shows up in support of a very small peace rally at Fairmont Park in Riverside and some lady blames him for costing Al Gore the presidency in 2000—and worries that his Peace & Freedom candidacy this year could ruin Barack Obama’s chance to get in the White House. Shut up, lady! 



Ancient Brett Favre throws six touchdown passes. Bring on the End Times.



Here we go! The stock market plummets 777 points, the largest drop in points ever, although it fell by a greater percentage to kick off the Great Depression. Adjusted for inflation and other such considerations—hey, can you turn down the gnashing of teeth a notch? It’s very distracting—I think that converts to . . . ah, yes, just as predicted . . . 666. Last one in the Sea of Fire is an undercooked egg!  



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