14 Ways To Insinuate “I Love You”

By Anna Sachse

Posted February 12, 2009 in Mind Body Spirit

Many, many years ago, when I was an undergrad, I diversified my English Major/Film Minor by taking a Philosophy of Love and Sex class. Needless to say, this class was very popular—over 200 students, equal parts football players, sorority girls, geeks and philosophy majors. I think the majority of them were expecting to gain four credits while spending an hour watching porn every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Instead, we spent weeks studying Plato’s 2,000-plus-years-old theories on love and watching decidedly not sexy movies like The Accused


Despite the fact that I fell into the geek camp and had a fondness for Greek history, even I had to agree that much of the curriculum was far from memorable. But there was one thing that always stuck with me. One day we spent an entire class talking about how people I say “I love you.” The teacher’s point was that while women often say those words and want to hear them, men frequently say “I love you” through their actions. In other words, a man might not say he loves you as much as you’d like him to, but he’ll get your oil changed without you asking, and by doing so, he’s showing you he loves you. My teacher thought men deserved more credit for these actions. 


Now, at the ripe old age of 31, I’d have to say that I agree. Unlike a throwaway catchphrase, actions usually take time, effort and an intimate knowledge of the needs and desires of a particular person. 


So then, in honor of the virtually useless Philosophy class that I spent over $1,000 in tuition on, and Valentine’s Day 2009, here are 14 ways to say I love you, without actually saying it.


1. Clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, fold the laundry or go grocery shopping without your loved one asking you to do it. Do it to make their life a little easier; no pointing out that you did it for them.


2. Give your full attention when your sweetie is talking. This means not doing anything else at the same time, not looking bored and not spending the entire time thinking about what you’re going to say next. 


3. Leave or hide notes for your pookie that are naughty, flattering or funny.


4. Tell your baby that he or she is handsome or beautiful. 


5. Compliment your significant other for something they’ve done, in front of other people.


6. Cook your honey a meal. Even a bowl of oatmeal can be romantic if you give it a little thought.


7. Join your beloved in one of their favorite activities even if it’s something you wouldn’t normally do. No critiquing or complaining.


8. The next time your lover does something wrong, forgive them right away. Mean it.


9. Skip work one day and spend the whole day playing together. 


10. Do something helpful for your sweetheart, such as renewing their car registration, taking care of their dry cleaning or backing up their computer. 


11. Make something for your darling, whether it’s a shelf, a sweater, a cake, an iPod playlist or a movie.


12. Give your dearest a long massage. Don’t expect one in return.


13. Whether it’s a bouquet of roses, a new game for the Wii, a diamond necklace or a Rolex, give your truelove a gift when they don’t expect it.


14. Make out. Sure, sex is great and can help you feel connected, but a good make out session will remind you that this is a person you are simply happy to be close to.


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