Billy Joel may be old for a rock star and all that yabba-jabba [Billy Joel in Hot Water, FEB 19], but he still rocks and he still makes more money than your whole publishing company, so it’s a little feeble to bad mouth him. Some might say you were resentful. And before you get cute with a response bear in mind, we didn’t start the fire. It’s been always burning since the world’s been turning, son.
–Samuel B., Palm Springs
What do these things have in common—Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team, Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland? Know what it is? America, baby. America. Don’t you freaking every freaking forget that. And if we say he sucks then he sucks, because free speech is a bitch that way. [For the record, we never said he sucked.]
Dear IE Weekly,
You guys are gay. Only gay people make a case for Jennifer Aniston (a waif) over Angelina Jolie [Final Word, Feb. 26]. It means you’re sexually repressing the urge to sleep with an anorexic boy. Which is fine, but just admit it. Jolie is the finest woman to ever raid a tomb, and those lips are the greatest things to ever happen to Man. That’s Man, as in heterosexual Man—not the gay people who write for you. Fags.
Just be happy the editor switched the debate to Jolie and Aniston, instead of Girod’s pick of Aniston and a young Gary Coleman. If it’s any consolation, Coleman has his merits—but we didn’t want to be accused of faggotry. And now look what we’ve done—you should see how embarrassed we are now!