Riverside County Supervisor Bob Buster gets props from the American Medical Association for doing what Obama gets praise/crap for: Slaving away for the liberals’ Holy Grail—affordable healthcare. Buster’s nominator points towards the Supe’s work with the Riverside County Regional Medical Center and his role in creating the fo‘-po‘-folks Inland Empire Health Plan—efforts which garner Bobby an engraved Steuben bowl and all the glory that the Dr. Nathan Davis Award for Outstanding Government Service can bestow. Now considering that the American Medical Association is the same outfit that, four months ago, began urging the federal government to stop considering weed as kissing cousin to heroin and cocaine and is now pushing for more research into using pot as medicine, Buster’s suddenly a way more interesting guy. I mean, I’ve just gotta ask the question: What are you gonna put in the Steuben bowl, Bobby? Trying to get the feds to OK medicinal marijuana—now that’s outstanding government service.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 3
Things just seem to get crummier and crummier at Riverside’s Fox Performing Arts Center. First the inaugural Sheryl Crow show whipped out a media blackout. Then Annie got the hard-knock life with canceled shows. Classical guitarist Roni Benise canceled a show here too. So did Caitlin Lusk. Makes you feel that the performances that did happen (Gladys Knight and Natalie Cole) were more like pity shows. But now comes the most blasphemous development of all. Jesus! No, not the exclamation—the real McCoy. Son of a carpenter! The King of Kings. The Lamb of God. That’s right. Three out of eight performances for Jesus Christ Superstar get crucified and sent to the Golgotha of low-ticket sales. Come on, give Mr. Alpha and Omega a break. This speaks volumes about how freakin‘ unholy the IE’s economy really is. Even the Messiah can’t get any love.
THURSDAY, MARCH 4
Deep in enemy territory, the Lakers lose in overtime in a match-up against the Miami Heat—which thoroughly, completely, absolutely sucks. That’s five losses L.A. has sustained in six games at the American Airlines Center. Then there’s that damning question about whether Dwyane Wade did or didn’t hit Kobe on the wrist as he shot with 30 seconds left in regulation time. The non-whistle heard round the world? You bet your sweet technical it was.
FRIDAY, MARCH 5
Redlands East Valley High School athlete Tyler Shreve gets penalty points and some shiny new criminal charges after getting a bit miffed at his baseball coach after he kicked him off the team. And by “miffed” we mean that Shreve admits to wrestling James Cordes to the ground, a tussle that results in a swollen eye for the coach. Shreve claims Cordes “said I wasn’t going to class and I wasn’t respecting the coaches, but I thought I showed him nothing but respect.” Putting a wrestling move on a baseball coach? Yeah, that’s respect. Get your sports straight. Everyone knows kicking dirt on the coach’s shoes is the respectful thing to do when you’re pissed.
SATURDAY, MARCH 6
Third time’s almost the charm when Hemet-San Jacinto gang officers dodge yet another booby trap—this time via what sounds to be some kind of car bomb. “This is a domestic terrorist attack on our Police Department and our community,” intones Hemet City Councilwoman Robin Lowe. Terrorists, eh? It’s waterboarding time!
SUNDAY, MARCH 7
“Riverside seeks community input for Police Chief search,” announces an ad that’s part of the city’s campaign to secure public feedback regarding a successor to just-medically retired Chief Russ Leach. As a public service, let’s provide our own two cents. “What personal characteristics should the Chief possess?” That’s easy: The ability to have a designated driver. That’s just a no-brainer.
MONDAY, MARCH 8
A Moreno Valley elementary school booster club rubs parents the wrong way when it holds a fundraising sale with some pretty, ahem, daring titles. Sounding like a 15-year-old’s Netflix queue, some of the DVDs that were up for grabs included Cheech & Chong’s The Corsican Brothers, Blonds Have More Fun, Every Mans Fantasy, Meet the Fockers and Jeff Cesario: You Can Get a Hooker Tomorrow Night. Going into damage-control mode, Superintendent Rowena Lagrosa appears to say that parents were worked up over nothing regarding the movies in question: “It was very family-friendly and I’ve heard nothing but positive comments,” Lagrosa says. Movies about weed and sex—who wouldn’t have something positive to say about these? But that’s not good enough, says parent Christina O’Donnell, who complained and said she paid $10 for bootleg copies of these flicks. Now I know why everyone was so upset. Ten bucks for a bootleg? That’s straight-up wrong! I’ll forgive misspelled names for soft-core flicks. But overpriced piracy—that’s crossing the line.