By Allen David
It’s time to slap poor ol‘ Ken Calvert again with the crazy stick. The Bill Hedrick for Congress camp unleashes its “Stop Ken Calvert From Drilling California” campaign. Apparently the Rotund One has leaned on Prez Obama to expand offshore oil drilling off the coast. But Hedrick’s peeps are all over this like flies on you-know-what. And you better believe the gloves are off. “Contribute $5 today and help me stop Ken Calvert and his Big Oil buddies from turning California into a skyline of oil derricks” screams the plea. And there’s more. “Contribute $5 today and help me stop Ken Calvert and his Big Oil buddies from turning our beaches into oil-soaked ecological disasters.” It’s all about timing. What, you didn’t think Hedrick’s folks weren’t gonna use that cluster of a BP oil spill devastating the Gulf to their advantage and trumpet their cause? It’s politics, baby! One oil company’s spill—is another’s political ammunition.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 5
Ah, those wacky guys running San Bernardino County just can’t get enough soap-opera drama in their lives. Matt Brown, chief of staff for county Supervisor Paul Biane, is the latest I’m-the-victim-here crybaby to scream bloody murder over some alleged blowback related to an ongoing corruption investigation. Apparently, Matt’s a stool pigeon. Or at least he says he’s made to feel like one. Ever since he’s cooperated with officials with the district attorney’s office and the state attorney general’s office, Brown says he’s faced with daily questions, harassment and veiled threats about his job from his superiors. Then Brown plays the “health issues” card and stays away from his office. His boss, Biane, comes off like such a loving uncle when he tells Press-Enterprise reporter Imran Ghori that “his first priority is his chief of staff’s health and that Brown should take the time he needs to get well.” Yeah, I’m sure Biane—who appears to have been implicated in the bribery/extortion/conspiracy/kitchen sink investigation—is really concerned over his staffer’s health. Maybe he’ll grant him a vacation. The permanent kind.
THURSDAY, MAY 6
Gotta love the irony. Gay and lesbian activists announce that they’re set to picket Mexican ranchera singer Paquita la del Barrio at her show scheduled for today at San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino. The reason? Apparently, Paquita made some very troubling comments about how she would rather let a child starve in the streets than be adopted by a same-sex couple. Yikes. And you thought Proposition 8 was harsh. Though, I’ve gotta admit that this incident is very odd. In the past, Paquita had made a name for herself for taking a stance against Mexican sexism and machismo . . . which is weird since we’re left with someone taking a swipe at sexual discrimination in one case—and then espousing another form of sexual discrimination in another . . . That’s a head-scratcher. Hey, Paquita, here’s a song for you: “Chingate, Pinche Hypocrite.”
FRIDAY, MAY 7
I vote for three-day weekends. Who’s with me?
SATURDAY, MAY 8
Call it a victory for the open-government folks. It’s revealed that Redlands officials make moves to require public disclosure in relation to settlements and purchases made in closed-sessions. Now the city had been disclosing these types of transactions already (thanks, City Attorney Dan McHugh!) but it was never the rule. Secrets—who needs ’em? Not in Redlands anymore. “We shouldn’t have the ability to secretly buy real estate or to settle lawsuits,” intones Mayor Pro Tem Jerry Bean. Damn straight! That’s San Bernardino County’s job.
SUNDAY, MAY 9
Damn, damn, damn. Work tomorrow.
MONDAY, MAY 10
Never has a word like “sweep” had such a nerve-tingling, feel-good, God-is-great sort of ring to it. And when it’s the Lakers that are doing the sweep—of a four-game variety—against the Jazz, the thrill is even so much better. Putting Lakers shtick-talkers to bed, Kobe, Pao and the rest of the purple-and-gold gang put a major smackdown on Utah’s finest. Bryant steps up at the right time—doesn’t he always?—and makes 20 of his 32 points in the second half. But it’s Gasol that sends the Jazz home crying to their Mormon mommas with his 33 points, 14 rebounds and his damn-good 12-of-18 shooting. What’s the Spanish word for “Hell yeah!”? My homeboy Shannon Brown also gets in the mix with 12 points—including two big-time three-pointers. Things are looking mighty fine in Lakerland; today’s win is the eighth out of the past nine games. So what’s next for the Western Conference semifinals? Looks like Phoenix—er, I meant Los Suns will be the next team to beat next week. One question though: What was up with those two girls in green “Fisher Lied” T-shirts? Strange. Face it, Utah. There’s nothing but sour grapes and wishful thinking in your home court. Take your “Jazz in 7” signs home.