The Rundown

By Allen David

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Posted January 13, 2011 in News

TUESDAY, JANUARY 4

Wake up. Shower. Breakfast. Go to work. Repeat.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 5

Want to get your hands on an iPhone or an iPad? There’s an app for that? Actually, by app we mean ski masks and pepper spray—otherwise known as the pretty crappy MO two unidentified men used to rob the Apple store at The Promenade Mall in Temecula. The two suspects charged through an unlocked door at 1:30 in the morning and threatened to spray everyone with the evil liquid hellfire unless they were allowed to get their greasy mitts on Steve Jobs’ latest creations. The robbers made off with several thousands of dollars in merchandise. Investigators promptly question witnesses and start tracking down leads. But considering Apple products like the iPhone come armed to the gills with thievery deterrents like GPS tracking (Mobile Me can track your phone down to the address) and the remotely-activated Lock Out feature, it’s gonna be a pretty sad state of affairs for these idiots when they try and use or sell their stolen merchandise. Oh, and those dropped calls! And speaking of security features, Temecula Apple store, what’s with having an unlocked door at 1:30 in the morning? Employee safety? I think not.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 6

Things are real ugly in Redlands right now. Brown people killing black people. In the words of Fergie, where’s the love?

FRIDAY, JANUARY 7

The battle is on. Plans to build a new shopping center at Barton Road and Van Buren Boulevard sure are ticking off the neighbors in Riverside. The proposed commercial development is slated to include a Target, a home improvement store and roughly a dozen other spots for restaurants and additional businesses. But Kelleen Krocker sure isn’t happy about it. “To have a home improvement center in my backyard just infuriates me, infuriates me to no end.” One issue is that a 40-acre orange grove will end up replaced by the shopping center. “We can smell the orange groves in the summer and spring,” says Krocker. Well, pretty soon you’ll be smelling drywall dust and forklift exhaust. Commercial development—it’s what’s for dinner.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 8

It’s a bummer day in Amusement Park World. That’s because Wendell Ray Hurlbut . . . was named “Hurlbut.” Naw, I’m just kidding. The guy behind Castle Park is now dead. This dude was the creator of what was originally envisioned as a 25-acre hobby park on the north side of the 91 Freeway. Heck, the place deserves props just for being a cool landmark for my commuter treks up and down the 91. This guy apparently encouraged his employees to “be pleasant, nice, smile and give the customer the service they deserved,” according to Harold Suker, a guy who helped build some of Hurlbut’s rides and trains. Hurlbut was the kind of boss who still liked to get his hands dirty, literally, sweeping up spilled popcorn and emptying trash cans. Words this guy lived by? Try these: “If you’re not wearing a smile, you’re not dressed for work.” With a boss this cool, it almost makes you forget that his name was Hurlbut. Almost.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 9

Alright, this is more like it! After beating New Orleans on Friday, the Lakers continue their so-far winning ways by dropping a major clobbering on the Knicks. Beautiful. Simply beautiful. More please.

MONDAY, JANUARY 10

Miss Mack Attack herself, Mary Bono Mack (R-Palm Swings), throws out her take on reforming government. This time it’s all about transparency. Under new rules that the newly convened 112th Congress approved, all committees and subcommittees are now required to webcast all their hearings during which bills get hashed out and amended. Such committees must also list the folks that attend such hearings, the roll call votes, the full text of the legislation—basically everything but a list of all the campaign staffers John Boehner browbeats with his pocket-sized copy of the Constitution. The point of all this, Mack says, is that the bulk of federal laws are carved out during such sessions—and not in open Congress—and thus John Q. Public can now get a fair opportunity to see history in the making. Oh, really? “The adoption of these new rules will grant citizens the opportunity to witness and participate in the entire legislative process—start to finish,” the Mackster says. And you’re telling me people want to watch this crap? Watch a bunch of suits argue and push paper around?  Really, Mary, if you want to give constituents something to watch, something to make the political process a tad more interesting I suggest A) a DVD copy of Nailin’ Palin or B) 8×10 glossies of the photo that recently surfaced on RadarOnline.com. The photo allegedly shows Edra Blixseth, a Mack contributor, licking the congresswoman’s boobs. Now that I’ll watch. I love democracy!


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