By Allen David
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 8
Finally, someone has the cojones to say what the rest of the world has already told us about the IE. We sort of/kind of tend to be a cultural backwater; behind the times; behind the trends. And sometimes behind the eight ball. Example: Taco trucks (a.k.a. roach coaches, a.k.a. absolutely awesome foodie experiences—what, you never heard of Kogi BBQ?!?!) are illegal in the IE. The oh-so-smart folks with the Riverside and San Bernardino county health departments banned them years ago. But now (drum roll) San Bernardino County Supervisor Janice Rutherford says she’s going to try and change all that. The newly elected official says she’s exploring the idea of legalizing the businesses and bringing such eclectic eats to the 909 (and 951). In case you’ve been living under a rock, these gourmet-food delivery systems on wheels have exploded in popularity all over Orange and Los Angeles counties and their slavishly loyal fans track the trucks’ current locations via Twitter. God bless you, Janice. God bless you!
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9
San Jacinto says it’s got a list of 92 people who never cashed their city utilities refund checks. There’s $5,500 just sitting there just waiting for—hold on a minute. I remember drinking some San Jacinto water recently . . .
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 10
Cyber crime alert! Cyber crime alert! Whoop-whoop! It seems that some wannabe Johnny Mnemonic decided to crack the firewall belonging to Killarney’s at the Riverside Plaza. The affected parties? More than 100 of the Irish-themed restaurant and pub’s customers. The hacker stole credit card numbers and used the data to charge stuff all across the globe; Canada, Ireland, Italy, England and the Dominican Republic. New York and Northern California were thrown in there, too, for good measure. Yes, it’s terrible, but the crime seems to have amounted to just a few nibbles on customers’ cards. Case in point: Killarney’s customer Joe Blake of Riverside. “They hit me up for at least 30 bucks. They probably bought some beers and some smokes, but I haven’t called the stores to verify.” According to Riverside PD Detective Dan Russell, each individual theft ranged anywhere from $5 to $500. But it begs the question: What would $500 in beers and smokes look like? Sounds like my last weekend at Killarney’s. Hey-oh!
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11
Sure, being gay in this country can be bad enough, what with the Prop. Hate—er, I meant 8—crowd still proud of themselves over the idiocy they got voters to agree to in 2008. Yes, there are still numbskulls and cultural Philistines who consider being homosexual to be on par to being, well, un-American (and in Temecula, Muslim). But how about being gay and being an illegal immigrant. Talk about a double-whammy. That’s like being hit with the Prop. 8 stick and then taking a beating with an SB 1070 crowbar. “We’re married, but we’re nothing to the government,” says Alex Benshimol, a Venezuelan immigrant who’s facing deportation because his visa expired. Don’t worry, Alex, you’re nothing to more than just the federal government. Just don’t move to Temecula. Or convert to Islam. Then you’ll be really screwed.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 12
You’ve heard the term “wages of sin,” right? Well, the price seems to have gone down. Way down. One of the three 13-year-old boys accused of raping a 13-year-old girl in Banning says he participated in this inhuman (and unthinkable) attack because he was promised an iPod. Sorry, I’ve got nothing more to say about this.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 13
It’s time for the Coincidence Patrol! Let’s pull over San Bernardino Councilman Jason Desjardins and see what we find, shall we? Apparently, the 37-year-old towing company owner just resigned. So what, you ask? Well, some would say it was a funny thing that Desjardins had recently come under investigation for possible conflict of interest regarding his towing franchise with the city. Coincidence! Naturally, his resignation has nothing (nothing!) to do with this. And his resignation has nothing to do with a weird incident in which his handgun was stolen from his van while at a San Bernardino bar . . . and he just so happened to not have a permit to carry a concealed weapon. Coincidence! So what does the now-former councilman have to say about this? Desjardins says he wants more time to care for his sick mother. Weak.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 14
Really, Lakers? Thanks for ruining my V-Day! I know that the Bobcats are owned by Michael Jordan and all, but to get clawed and conquered by this young team, 109-89? Yikes. Makes you glad the next team they’re up against are from Cleveland. But then again . . .