By Allen David
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 1
They sure love those taxpayer-paid-for cars and gas cards at the Riverside City Council! Call in the intervention, folks, because we’re gonna have to pry these perks from the cold, dead hands belonging to five (out of seven) members of the council who absolutely refuse to kick the habit. Mayor Ron “The Love Man” Loveridge says it makes sense to just turn in your keys and take the car allowance ($500 a month) instead of pricey gas guzzlers (the city-owned 2010 Ford Escapade Councilman Paul Davis drives around cost nearly $37,000). Davis and fellow Councilman Steve Adams defend their use. “I still feel that this is a tool that enables this council to better serve the public,” Adams says. “Tool,” eh, Steve? Good choice of words. But Davis has a much finer point to make. “We’re squabbling over pebbles when we should be talking about bricks,” he says. OK, let’s talk about bricks. Maybe one thrown at your head will snap some sense into it?
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2
Hey, Menifee, your political activists can’t follow direction. Riverside County officials say that’s part of the reason why an effort to recall Menifee Councilman Darcy Kuenzi was rejected. John Smelser, a Menifee retiree, is trying to take down her down. It’s Kuenzi Frenzy time, baby. Smelser says Kuenzi is too flirty-birdie with developers. But the Smells-ster screwed up and failed the precise grammar and formatting requirements that a Notice of Intention For a Recall Election calls for. Which is a shame because I was hoping to get started on my “Down with Darcy” sloganeering. “The law is written by politicians to make recalls very difficult to do,” Smelly says. No kidding. Otherwise, we’d have every tea-bagger and slack-jawed birther trying to take down Obama every other week.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3
. . . and speaking of idiots engaged in shallow rhetoric and useless posturing, here comes Corona City Hall. In case you haven’t heard, Gov. Jerry Brown is trying to snatch away the redevelopment teat. And Corona’s friggin‘ pissed enough to mint a municipal eff-you Jerry’s way in the form of an approved resolution opposing Moonbeam’s attempts to eliminate redevelopment agencies. “Who else is going to redo the streets of Mecca, put in storm drains or a medical clinic or a Boys and Girls Club,” Riverside County Supervisor John Benoit asks. Johnny, don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to. Who’s gonna redo the streets of Mecca? That’s easy. Local taxpayers. Storm drains? The money-grubbing developers building crap that creates the need for better drainage. A medical clinic? A fatback hospital. And a Boys and Girls Club—sheesh, that’s easy. The Boys and Girls Club. Nice try, Benoit.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4
What the hell? A judge dismisses some of the charges against seven of nine defendants involved in a corruption indictment that tangled up most members of the San Jacinto City Council. Superior Court Judge Michele Levine said there was insufficient evidence to show a clear-cut plot to hide campaign contributions. The judge orders supervising deputy district attorney Deborah Lucky to essentially spell out each criminal count with each defendant in hopes that it will clear things up. Levine says she tried to sort it out herself, but “it was like wrestling with Jell-O.” A deputy DA named “Lucky.” Wrestling with Jell-O? No wonder they don’t allow cameras in the court room.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5
The Rev. Michael S. Piazza is announced as a co-celebrant at the progressive-minded United Church of Christ in Claremont. Piazza was once named by The Advocate as one of the most influential people in the gay and lesbian movement . . . which leads me to suspect that the votes were counted before Glee hit the air.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 6
The Stop In, a ’30s era roadhouse in Colton (yes, Colton has landmarks), gets a wakeup call when an out-of-control pickup truck smashes into the place. The impact was so hardcore, the beer tap spigots opened up. “The beer was flowing, but nobody was home,” said owner Todd Gibboney. Now that’s the real tragedy.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 7
Offensively, the Lakers’ offense was crappy. In the span of a minute or two in the fourth quarter, I saw Kobe throw the ball away three times. Sure, he had 19 points but he also made six (!) turnovers. Plus, things got physical when Marc Gasol’s paw made fierce contact with Ron Artest’s nose. Battered and bloodied, the Lakers still managed to whip out a win. This was the easy part. Thursday’s the hard part: Boston.