By Allen David
The lineup for hip-hop festival Rock The Bells is announced, and some say it may be the best one ever. Reading that was pretty exciting until I realized that the some who were saying it were in the Huffington Post. Maybe we can all agree that such hyperbolic designations serve no real purpose. The best Rock the Bells festival ever? The best hip-hop festival ever? The important thing is that I put in now for the free press tickets. Hold on, Missy Elliott, I’m a-comin‘!
THURSDAY, MAY 17
Meanwhile, Rock The Bells? Please explain.
FRIDAY, MAY 18
Plans for the next meeting of the Redlands Planning Commission, which after much consideration and deliberation had been inscribed in all planning commissioners’ planning calendars for Tuesday, May 22 at 4 p.m., have been canceled because of the one thing no one planned on: nothing to plan. The plan now is to convene the Planning Commission for another meeting on June 12. But you know what they say: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” They either say that, or they say, “Life is what happens while you’re making plans.” And by “they,” I mean everybody except anybody on the Planning Commission.
SATURDAY, MAY 19
Dr. Lisa Michele Barden is arrested on Haven Tree Lane in Corona just after 8:30 this morning and jailed on $5,000 bail after calling in a prescription using another doctor’s name but then paying for the pills with a check bearing her real name . . . again. Barden’s criminal record already includes convictions on 275 felonies related to prescription fraud—things like identity theft, burglary, falsifying or forging a prescription and possession of a controlled substance. Oh, and also that time she was convicted of filing a false police report after claiming that burglars had attacked her late at night at a pharmacy. On Jan. 27, 2011 Barden was sentenced to seven years and eight months in jail—all but 332 days of that suspended—and was fined almost $50,000 and ordered not to practice medicine for three years.
SUNDAY, MAY 20
Does the court’s January 2011 order that Dr. Lisa Michele Barden not practice medicine for three years mean that she would have been eligible to practice in January 2014—like, about 1½ years from now—had she not gotten busted Saturday? According to Press-Enterprise reporter Brian Rokos, the state Department of Consumer Affairs website notes that an administrative law judge suspended Barden’s license to practice medicine in California on Feb. 27, 2009, and that her license was ordered revoked on April 9, 2012. The revocation took effect May 10. Hey, 10 days ago! But that doesn’t answer my question.
MONDAY, MAY 21
While Dr. Lisa Michele Barden remains in jail—apparently she can’t make the $5,000 bail, which really means she can’t come up with $500, since putting up 10 percent is typically enough for a bondsman—reaction to her arrest begins to stir Press-Enterprise readers. Titsntatts writes: 275 felonies and 1 year in jail . . . wow! Nurseeva follows: “Now I know how many felonies it actually takes for the revocation of a medical license.” Apacheman pontificates: “Well, well, well, here we go again—another educated drug addict, like some of the attorneys in this state. We need mandatory drug testing on actors, city, state and federal officials and even law enforcement. Seems like they want to bully everyone else. Heck, the judge might have been one of her patients, but maybe he was drunk at the time but God forbid he’s not pure. This sucks! Everyone else has to do their time, and so should you, special folks who think you’re something. You’re scum like the rest of us—you just smell different. Rotaugen checks in: Lisa Barden? Looks more like Lizzie Borden.
TUESDAY, MAY 22
Missed yesterday’s meeting of the Temecula Valley Newcomers Club—I thought I remembered reading that it meets on the third Monday of each month, but when I got there the door was locked. Now I see that Temecula Valley Newcomers Club meets . . . wow, it does meet on the third Monday of the month. Weird. Same thing happened to me last month. See, the thing about the Temecula Valley Newcomers Club is that being new to the Temecula Valley is not a requirement for membership. Says the website, “The main purpose of the club is to create an atmosphere of friendship and laughter where old and new friends can meet and enjoy their time together.” Come to think about it, I thought I heard a little laughter behind that locked door yesterday! I smell hazing.