By Allen David
A 4.5-magnitude earthquake strikes just north of Yorba Linda but is felt throughout the Inland Empire, just like Tuesday night’s 4.4-magnitude quake, centered in the same place. Since these quakes—among nearly 20 that have ranged from 1.1 to today’s 4.5—have caused no deaths, injuries or damage, people rush to the social media outlets of their choice and share some har-dee-har-harring. From Larry Santa Holmes: LOL, A 4.5 is just a big truck rolling by for us Californians. Replies Skorpyo: Yeah, until the truck slams into you. Says Zack Power: Just like when you hear that car lock up its tires and screech . . . but no CRASH noise . . . its just … unforfilling. Cali needs a fresh start anyway.”
THURSDAY, AUGUST 8
It may seem a little extreme when you first read this item—about a pair of San Bernardino police officers shooting and killing a man holding an aluminum baseball bat in his garage—but please read all the way through before beginning to form a judgment. See, the two officers were called to the scene because of some kind of family dispute, so it’s not like they started this. And when the two officers got there, there turned out to be a guy in the garage with an aluminum baseball bat, which you gotta admit is weird. Naturally, the officers wanted to return things to normal as quickly as possible—that is, to a state with no guy with an aluminum baseball bat in the garage. They say they told the man to drop the aluminum baseball bat. They say they told the dude several times—and if I’m not mistaken, “several” is precisely the number of times officers are trained to tell men who are in garages holding aluminum baseball bats to drop the aluminum bats. But officers say the man refused. Instead, the officers with the guns say the man with the aluminum baseball bat “moved,” and not only that, they say he moved “toward them.” Well, can we agree this pretty much removed all of the officers’ options? It was just them and their guns against a man in his garage holding an aluminum baseball bat, who they say had just moved. What else could the officers have done besides what they did, which was to start firing their guns at the guy with the aluminum baseball bat? And once those bullets leave the gun, the officers can’t really be held responsible for what parts of the aluminum-bat-wielding guy’s body they tear into, what internal organs they puncture and shred and what amount of blood pumps out of the. Of course, some people will still take issue with the officers for shooting and killing a guy holding an aluminum baseball bat in his garage. And to mollify people like that, the San Bernardino District Attorney’s Office will spend taxpayer money to review the case. But there’s another perspective on this issue, too: if the other people in the guy’s house didn’t want him to be killed by San Bernardino police, they shouldn’t have called the cops.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 10
Toby Keith’s “Live in Overdrive Tour” sets up shop at San Manuel Amphitheatre in Highland, and what a perfect time and place for one of those Yorba Linda aftershocks, dontcha think?
SATURDAY, AUGUST 11
Turns out, my sister was in Highland on Friday. Turns out, she attended that Toby Keith show at San Manuel Amphitheatre. Turns out, there was no earthquake. Turns out, I’m still sorta disappointed about that. Turns out, after seeing Toby Keith live, so is she.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 12
The Olympics ends, and to hear Lakers fans react to the trade that brings them Dwight Howard, so does the National Basketball Association season. They seem to think they have their 17th championship in the bag because they just acquired a moody, self-centered big man with a limited inside game who can’t shoot free throws.
MONDAY, AUGUST 13
A San Bernardino County Sheriff’s deputy shoots and kills a man who officials say attacked the deputy with a shovel in Yucaipa neighborhood. Theodore Wann, 23, dies at the scene after deputies received a report at 6:25 a.m. that Wann was acting paranoid, possibly under the influence of drugs and stating that people are following him. When deputies arrived, Wann ran through several yards. But officials say Wann then confronted a deputy and attacked him with a shovel. Officials say the deputy feared for his safety, so he opened fire and killed him.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 14
The only reason I can imagine calling for help from San Bernardino law enforcement is if I see Toby Keith.