¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Bastardo de la Inquisición
Dear Bastard of the Inquisition: Gracias for bringing up México Profundo, a great book that complements the fabulous Facing West: The Metaphysics of Indian-Hating and Empire-Building. While I understand Batalla’s argument, it’s also one that doesn’t consider the supremacy of the mutt, which is what Vasconelos was trying to hint at. Societies that remain pure have a much-harder time to survive in this mundo than those that absorb and learn from other cultures—you think the Aztecs got to the top of the Templo Mayor by keeping only to the ways of their ancestors all the way from Aztlán to Tenochtitlán? The Mexican feels it’s crucial for Mexis to remember their indigenous roots, because the only good thing the conquistadors left us was Spanish and distillation—but embrace the mutt, as well, as that allows us to be whoever we want to be and draw from all the cultures that make us. Compare that to gabachos, who can only be gabachos because they have largely forsaken this country’s melting-pot past—and who the hell would want to be a gabacho like that?
Why do so many Mexicans like Maná?! WTF, and why do they think they’re truly a rock en español/Latin alternative band? They suck and blow big time and are more equivalent to Hootie and the Blowfish than anything else and should be placed in the POP SECTION!
Puro Pinche Caifanes
Dear Pure F*#king Caifanes: While no one makes more fun of the Guadalajara-based quartet than me, maybe us Maná-haters should cut the fresas some slack. After all, their early success with rip-offs of the Police and Sting assisted in convincing gabachos that there was more to Mexican music than sombreros and Herb Alpert. Their concerts are now puro pinche parri nostalgia fests that inspire Mexi MILFS to squeeze into dresses four sizes too small. “Mariposa Traicionera” (“Treacherous Butterfly”) is a legit rola, and the accompanying video of lesbians and thongs simply magnificent. And, on a more serious note, Maná members have donated muchos pesos to saving sea turtles via their nonprofit—and who can hate people like that? Actually, a lot of Mexicans like you and I. You compare the chavos to Hootie and the Blowfish, but they’re more like the Dave Matthews Band of rock en español—despised by the purists as the group cries all the way to the banco.
CONGRATULATIONS TO: The Dream 9, the group of undocumented activists who traveled to Mexico, tried to cross back into el Norte to highlight the plight of people like themselves, were detained by la migra—sometimes in solitary confinement—and are currently out of prison, awaiting an asylum hearing. The struggle isn’t over, of course, but their bravery is simply inspiring. I ask America again: why wouldn’t we want such brave men and mujeres—and the millions of people they stand for—as citizens of this country?
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