By Allen David
Note to self: “Purchase a pack of cigarettes and carry it at all times, just in case somebody wants one.” Although I don’t smoke and don’t intend to start, carrying a pack of nicotine coffin nails seems like another of the small things people can do to prevent being victimized by crime after police arrest 20-year-old Freddy Fernandez of Fontana for allegedly holding a guy at knifepoint, demanding a cigarette and then robbing him. Fernandez is in West Valley Detention Center in Rancho Cucamonga. The victim called police about 5pm, saying the suspect held a 3-inch black knife to his side and demanded a cigarette. The victim told Fernandez he didn’t have any. Fernandez then reached into the victim’s pocket and took property before fleeing. Police found him near the corner of Oleander Avenue and Mallory Drive and took him into custody. My question: What brand?
THURSDAY, AUGUST 15
Assemblyman Tim Donnelly, Hesperia’s arch-conservative Republican representative in the California legislature’s lower house, announces he’s pulling his kids out of public school in response to the passage into law of AB 1266, which allows transgender children access to sex-restricted facilities and programs based on the gender they identify with, rather the sex they were born into. Donnelly announces his decision in an editorial posted on the conservative website WND.com. “Gov. Jerry Brown signed a bill into law that will allow, after Jan. 1, 2014, any K-12 student who identifies his or her gender as something opposite of what his actual sex is access to any bathrooms, locker rooms and sports teams,” Donnelly writes. Naturally, Donnelly’s two children have been attending schools in a district—Rim of the World—which sounds very much like a sexual act. Less natural is what appears to be Donnelly’s experience in bathrooms and locker rooms—and what he may subsequently believe is their purpose. “This will take the normal hormonal battles raging inside every teenager and pour gasoline onto those simmering coals,” Donnelly writes. “The right to privacy enjoyed by every student will be replaced by the right to be ogled.”
FRIDAY, AUGUST 16
Flappers Comedy Club has been making people laugh in Claremont’s historic downtown Packing House from Thursdays through Sundays for more than three years and you haven’t heard of it? From here, that seems lame, but Barbara Holliday, who co-owns the venue with her partner, Dave Reinitz, is a bit more forgiving. “A lot of people don’t know we’re there,” Holliday tells the San Bernardino Sun of the 100-seat club at 532 W. First St., which opened in May 2010. “We are a small company and we’re upstairs. The Packing House has built stairs that go up to us now.” What? There weren’t stairs to the club? From here, that seems really lame, but maybe some Wednesday night shows will help everybody pull their heads out of their bee hives. Why Wednesday? C’mon! It’s only the funniest day of the week—Hump Day, and all of that. Holliday agrees, and announces that Flappers will add 8pm. Wednesday dates on Sep. 1. “It seems like a popular night,” Holliday says, whose venue has survived by not only running adult comedy shows, but also a clean “two-milk minimum” show, a comedy traffic school, teaching comedy classes and other promotions. Two-milk minimum shows? That seems . . . aww, forget it.
SATURDAY. AUGUST 17
Vanessa’s back in Jurupa Valley!
SUNDAY, AUGUST 18, 2013
I don’t go to church . . . again.
MONDAY, AUGUST 19, 2013
When it comes to the forces of attraction, everybody’s got their preferences—and their explanations to justify them—and there inevitably seems to be a website out there somewhere to serve those desires. For example, Michael A. Ramos, who happens to be the District Attorney for San Bernardino County, appears deeply driven to see and display the photographs and names of people convicted of engaging in lewd acts with prostitutes or soliciting for prostitution. Of course, Ramos has his reasons. “Our main goal is to hold people responsible and deter others from doing it,” he says. And on that basis, Ramos has set up a website for people who share his particular curiosity—right on the publicly funded San Bernardino County District Attorney website. Its part of a new program called the Stop-the-John Project, aimed at decreasing the demand for victims of human trafficking, the project’s web page says.
The number of names and photos of people (so far, all men) convicted of prostitution crimes is still small, but growing—up to a total of nine—and more than 60 pictures and identifications are waiting to be deployed. They include residents of Rancho Cucamonga, Alhambra, Rialto and Riverside, all convicted between February and July. Personally, it seems like a strange and small niche, but Ramos apparently knows his group. Within two weeks of posting the first photo of a convicted John, the web page on the District Attorney web site received more than 20,000 unique hits. Boing!
TUESDAY, AUGUST 20
Tomorrow is Hump Day!!!