By Alex Bradley
I’m sorry, but Depeche Mode is not a band to obsess over. Nope. Not. Sorry, chubby ‘90s-obsessed 30-something-year-olds. It’s not. Depeche Mode played a three night stint at the Staples Center in L.A., as they have a new album coming out—gag me—and Facebook and Twitter has never seen so much eyeliner and men wearing vests-without-shirts. Geez Louise.
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 3
Umm, the best of the best in the IE has been released, and I gotta say . . . Anyone understand the ghetto fab cover of the hottie with the grill? I have no idea what that has to do with the best of the IE, but I approve. Weirdness? Check! Sex appeal? Sure! Relevance? Why not! . . . Don’t hate.
Oh, btw, how’s that government shutdown going, Washington? Oh; good? So . . . we’re playing the “blame game” now? Sweet! Tag—you’re it.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 4
It’s National Taco Day! For some parts of the country it may be a lame excuse for a trip to Taco Bell, but for sunny Southern California, it gives us a chance to dive into the amazing quality and quantity of delicious Mexican tacos we have around us. Portobello and shallot tacos, beer battered fish tacos, corn and carnitas tacos, potato tacos—you name it, I’m eating it. Try saying no to tacos. Just try. I friggin’ dare you.
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 5
Did you know that California Institute of Technology has ranked as the number one university in the country for the third year in a row? So, remember when Californians were being annoyingly cocky and boasting about how they were so much better than the rest of the country? Everyone called them jerks and superficial snobs. Oh, well, guess what? Suck it, ivy leagues! California IS the best. And a tech school at number one, no less! BAM!
Meanwhile, UCLA made number 12, and USC made number 70 on the list; however, SC did make the top five party schools in America list. So there’s that . . . Go Trojans.
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 6
I can’t help but wonder what’s taking so long for the govt. officials to figure out how to fix whatever they’re mad about. So what’s the holdup? According to CNN, House Republicans insist any new spending bill include provisions to defund, derail or otherwise chip away at Obamacare. Senate Democrats are just as insistent that it doesn’t.
How is Obamacare tied to the spending bill, you ask? “The health care law isn’t directly tied to funding the government, but it’s being used as a bargaining chip. A group of Republicans believe the president’s signature domestic policy achievement is so bad for the country that it is worth disrupting government funding to undercut it.”
What are some of the objections to Obamacare? “The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, the actual name of the law, requires all Americans to have health insurance. Opponents say it’ll hurt employers and amounts to overreach by the federal government. Some have also criticized the medical device tax that’s part of the law, saying that by imposing such a tax, it’s basically sending jobs overseas.”
What’s the Democrats’ defense? “They say the law will expand access to health care and help rein in the rising costs of coverage. Obamacare prevents those with pre-existing medical conditions from being denied health insurance, and proponents say those who have health insurance will no longer have to indirectly pay for those who show up in emergency rooms uninsured.”
Isn’t there another matter—some sort of debt ceiling? “Ah yes, that’s the next battle brewing. Remember that time when you maxed out your credit card? That’s what the debt limit is all about. The U.S. is on the verge of maxing out its $16.699 trillion credit card. And the president must ask Congress to raise the country’s credit limit. But the debt ceiling debacle won’t come to a head until next week. Perhaps it’s best to deal with one showdown at a time.”
So, can Congress agree on anything, CNN? “The House and Senate did agree on one thing. They finalized legislation last week to keep paying troops in the event of a shutdown. So we won’t be targeted in a military capacity for now.”
MONDAY, OCTOBER 7
My “Case of the Mondays” looks like Bluto from The Labrynth, and smells like burnt hair and Dr. Pepper flavored Smackers. Here we go.
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 8
Who are these people that vote on the sexiest man or woman alive? I’d like to meet them.
For the second time, Scarlett Johansson has been awarded the title of “Sexiest Woman Alive” by Esquire mag. She previously won the honor in 2006. The Lost in Translation star, 28, who was married to Ryan Reynolds from 2008 to 2011 and just got engaged to journalist Romain Dauriac, is the first woman to be named sexiest twice by the magazine, which hits newsstands Oct. 15. “What I want to do right now is sleep late, read the paper,” she told Esquire of her busy 2013, including movies such as Don Jon about a porn addict and a stint on Broadway in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Yeah, okay. We’re not arguing with you, Esquire, we just don’t quite understand why this matters to the world. You want a cookie, Scarlett? A blue ribbon saying you’ve got big boobs and you’re the bestest—everyone else sucks? Okay. Fair enough.