By Molly McFly
The Affordable Care Act’s official website didn’t quite make the impression it had intended; but that’s old news now. What’s new is that the “face” of Obamacare, Adriana, is complaining that she’s being attacked by cyber bullies. While, I’ll admit, cyber bullying is a real issue in some cases, I’m pretty sure she was well aware that her face would represent the health initiative and be plastered on the front page of the website. According to ABC News, she was “mocked, Photoshopped, altered. She became the subject of late-night jokes, partisan hatred and intense speculation.” Honey, it’s the internet. Like it or not, you’ve become a celebrity of sorts. Just like Grumpy Cat who will forever be seen as grumpy (despite a normal, cute disposition as a young cat); she’ll never escape that face. Think how Mickey Rourke will never be able to erase the terrifying images of himself from the world’s view. And those images are pretty scary. Yikes.
Thursday, November 14
You know what today is? It marks two-weeks-before-Thanksgiving-Day. You’ve only got a little time to get ready for the feasts of feasts. Make sure you’ve got that turkey (or tofurky) ready. Prepare the cranberries! Make bread! Start putting up Christmas lights now!—Wait, what? Yes! Most importantly though, now’s the time to begin eating light so you can stuff your face later. This is America; we mainly celebrate with our stomachs.
Friday, November 15
Have you ever been to Joshua Tree? No, it’s nothing like Palm Springs . . . It’s more reminiscent of a miner’s town stuck in a time rift to the early 19th century. Population: 7, 414 (according to the 2010 census). I drove to the “city” on a mission to see this work of art called “Lucid Stead.” Out there, you get a real feel for the desert. The central IE’s definition of a desert is depicting shrubbery as plant wildlife, growing on the side of a freeway exit. In Joshua Tree, the temperature dramatically drops at night and the skyline is clear enough to see both the sunrise and sunset without manmade obstructions or light pollution. It’s gorgeous—just unfortunately out in the middle of NOWHERE.
Saturday, November 16
This is the day all nerds were looking forward to; the birth of a new gaming console. A single day after the official release of Sony’s newest console, the PlayStation 4 (PS4), and everything is already sold out. It’s not surprising, seeing that it’s been seven years since the PlayStation 3 released. It was a huge deal then and it’s a huge deal now.
Now, the PS4 has improved graphics, a fancy new controller, new games to play and stories to experience; well, if it weren’t for a small percent of consoles having issues. Remember the Xbox 360’s “Red Ring of Death”? Well the PS4 has got a death light too: the “blue light of death.” Sounds menacing, right? It’s scary if you paid $399 (or more) to buy a console that stops working after a week. Forget these new fangled-consoles, I still have a Nintendo Entertainment System that works, and it released in 1985.
However, if you’re one of the smaller percentages of PC gamers, aka the “Master Race,” this does not concern you. Go home and enjoy your fully customizable PC with better graphics, more speed and an unlimited amount of potential.
Sunday, November 17
I was going to save this day to talk about some b*tch who’s cool with killing a massive male lion in South Africa and posting a picture on Facebook next to it—but that dang Jeff Girod beat me to it. It’s pretty terrible though, she pissed off a ton of people whose universally favorite movie must be The Lion King. Those who signed the petition imaged that this was the confused and lost Simba who, in his stage of self-discovery, is still hanging with Timon and Pumbaa. For the 300,000 people that have signed the petition so far, Simba never met Nala, returned to Pride Rock and never took the throne from Uncle Scar. That chick took away some people’s childhood, let alone the life of a magnificent, fully-grown lion. Who cares if she had a license to kill it? At this rate she’ll never be allowed back into the country again anyway.
If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go die a second time while watching the live Broadway performance of The Lion King in LA, followed by aggressively cuddling my cats and crying myself to sleep.
Monday, November 18
So . . . a 13-foot long Navy drone flew into the side of a missile cruiser.
San Diego, you’re the main hub for naval activity on this side of the nation, what the heck happened? Oh right, “training” happened, followed by the apparently common theme of malfunctions into state-of-the-art machines.
According to President of the San Diego Drone User Group, Chance Roth, in an article from NBC San Diego, he “uses the technology for fun but is also testing them for more real-world applications.” For fun? I bet flying all of my tax dollars around is serious fun, until one goofy trick lands the country’s drone in a freaking ship.
Tuesday, November 19
Quite possibly, Tuesdays are worse than Mondays. Seriously, we’re not even half-way through the work week yet.