December is upon us, and that means it’s time to get as much holiday shopping done online before it’s too late . . . and we’re all forced to pay extra postage for overnight shipping. The horror!
Thursday, December 5
I was saddened to receive an email from the local Salvation Army that over 1800 kids applied to receive toys this season, but there haven’t been enough donations to meet these steep demands. So Christmas isn’t about helping needy kids anymore? Maybe we’re just overwhelmed because we’re bombarded with a million different ways to give. It’s no longer as simple as throwing some quarters to the guy standing outside the grocery store ringing his bell. On a slightly unrelated note, after passing one of these bell-ringing fellows the other day, my boyfriend found a $20 bill in middle of a Vons parking lot. Without skipping a beat, he just swooped it up and kept walking like nothing happened—I don’t know what my boyfriend has done in his life, but he has so much good karma he got a free car the other day . . . and now this?! Anyway, back to the children. Any business you go in to (okay, so maybe I just found myself at three different Starbucks locations this week) will have these cheap folded paper ornaments with a handwritten Christmas wish of a local kid (they all want an iPod). All you have to do is bring the iPod back unwrapped and bam—you’ve done your Christmas deed. With so many options of how to give this season, and thousands of kids still going without the electronics they desperately need, I’ve come to the conclusion that people are getting greedier and greedier each and every year. Bah humbug.
Friday, December 6
Ugh. Last Friday was so stressful with all the holiday deals that I’m staying in tonight, eating spaghetti, and drinking apple cider from a champagne glass. True story.
Saturday, December 7
I’m not usually one for celebrity gossip, but if I see a picture of my ultimate girl-crush Mila Kunis walking down the aisle with anyone, I’ll check E!Online or TMZ for the latest. Okay, so I guess I got ahead of myself, my girl Mila didn’t quite get married this weekend, but the stunning actress from my favorite movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall attended her brother’s wedding this Saturday with her super hunky co-star from That ‘70s Show—Ashton Kutcher. I always knew Kutcher’s marriage to Demi Moore was destined towards divorce and that Kunis and Kutcher were star-crossed lovers meant to be from the time I first saw Jackie and Kelso exchanging lustful teenage hormones. I was so certain of their fated love that I even named my dogs Mila and Ashton, and they too are madly in love. Sorry Demi, all you had to do was ask and I would’ve told you that you never had sh*t on Mila Kunis.
Sunday, December 8
I never thought the day would come that I would say the highlight of my Sunday happened while I was watching the Laker game. I used to be more a sports fan, but for some reason watching sports and drinking beers with my pops has lost the magic it once had. I just haven’t been able to get into the yellow and purple spirit that was instilled in me from a young age. However, I still enjoy laughing at another’s expense, kind of like laughing at a funeral but without the morbid death part. So this Sunday, while half-watching the game with my dad, half-playing Candy Crush on my phone, I witnessed the rookie Nick Young from the Lakers as he did a little 360-spin trick shot, only to miss the shot completely. Bummer Nick Young—way to look like a lame-o. It was said that this failed move will go down in the bloopers hall of fame. Better luck next time Nick!
Monday, December 9
The weekend flew by, and on my way to the office, I had the sudden feeling that I was trapped in a dust storm in the middle of the Sahara desert. Waking up in the west side of the IE, and then traveling down to the more southern regions where our office is located, it was nothing short of a miracle that my green machine wasn’t engulfed by the massive amounts of dirt and trash that pounded the 15 freeway Monday morning.
Tuesday, December 10
Okay, so maybe my car was pummeled by an industrial sized piece of plastic wrap, and I had to pull over to side of the road to fight the entanglement from my vehicle. But, this was a small price to pay considering there weren’t any broken windows or severe accidents caused by the incident, however there was some lady in a Volvo tailgating me like there was no tomorrow. ‘Hey Volvo lady,’ I said to her waving my middle finger . . . ‘I’m going 85 during a wind storm wrapped like a Christmas present, what more do you want from me?’