Past Stories
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: With a scant four weeks before I cram my mochila with a few clothes for me and a horde of presents (read: bribes) for my future cuñadas, sobrinas, y mi mera suegra, I found myself terror-stricken tonight as...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican:Is Lou Dobbs right when he says that close to 80 hospitals in California have been closed down because of the illegals, or is he lying?
—Cabrónes No Necesitamos
Dear CNN: Dobbs is right to a certain point,&he...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: We were in a restaurant the other day eating some refried beans and green chili, when I overheard some gringos in the next booth making fun of Mexicans. One thing they said which really made me mad was,…
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: I like to think that I’m an open-minded sorta guy for a teenager. I fervently oppose racial stereotypes, though I do think that they’re good for a laugh or two sometimes. I have several Mexican friends...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: I’m a minority, and I know we can be overly sensitive sometimes, but I just can’t stand Carlos Mencia. Not only are his jokes asinine, but I feel they are actually racist. Whereas Dave Chappelle tried ...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
SPECIAL DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS EDITION
Dear Mexican: How do I go to the Mexican grocery store and bakery to buy supplies for our Día de los Muertos party without looking like I’m doi...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: What is it with the Mexican hang-up on body parts? When General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna was struck by a cannonball at the knee in one of his 8,000 wars, his right leg was removed from the…
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: Why do so many of my peers assume I must have low self-esteem just because I’m dating a Mexican guy? I finally found someone with my same values and who treats me way better than any gringo…
!ASK A MEXICAN!
[Editor’s note: With this issue, the Weekly heralds the Inland Empire debut of Gustavo Arellano’s “¡Ask a Mexican!” column. Don’t know who Arellano is? Christ, how could you miss him? Dude is everywhere—Colbert, th...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans say “¡Ojalá Dios quiere!”? Ojalá refers to Allah the Muslim god, and Dios is the Christian god. Do Mexicans want to cover their bases and get a double blessing, or maybe they canR...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: I’ve run into a problem with my wife. I’d like to proudly display our last name on the back window of the family car, but she won’t allow it. How can I convince her that’s it’s a long...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Readers: It’s not just questions and racist rants that invade the Mexican’s mailbox–your feedback sneaks under my digital fence, también. Let’s start with Lean Like a K Street Chola, a former gangb...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: I had a heated discussion in my van pool with a couple of gringos where they made a comment that immigration (both legal and illegal) needs to stop. I replied jokingly, “Then who will take our orders at…
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: A new line of Speedy Gonzales clothing came out earlier this year. As a black vendor in a predominantly Mexican market, I immediately thought about selling some of these items. I am 35 and, although I remember the...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: Do you agree with immigration rights activists calling Elvira Arellano—who is an illegal immigrant and a criminal I might add—the Mexican Rosa Parks? The very idea that these people refer to her as such is dee...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
I am addressing this to both ¡Ask a Mexican! and “Savage Love” hoping one of you will have an answer to this: Why do Mexican chicks yell for their papi during sex? –Daddy del Diablo
Dear Readers: Daddy del Di...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
After the great migration of Jews to this nation, a question was posed: "How long does it take a Jew to go from being a street sweeper to becoming a corporate attorney?" The answer given was, "One generation.&quo...
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in–gracias for the submissions. Following is a hand...
