Past Stories

¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: At a weekly Doors tribute band gig, I’ve noticed the majority of the crowd is Mexican. I swear, sometimes it seems like the crowd missed the exit to the Lupillo Rivera show or a Maná concert. Never re...


¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that Mexican-Americans have the highest proportion of DUI’s and alcohol-related traffic fatalities of any ethnic group (60 percent as opposed to 40 ...


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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: I feel that the more Mexicans who come to this country, the better. I am a Mormon, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In our Book of Mormon, on page 54, it…



¡ASK A MEXICAN!

As everyone knows, dogs seem to reflect their master’s personalities. Likewise, the breeds invented by a nation say a lot about that nation. Germans bred the German Shepard and Rottweilers: smart, loyal, faithful, yet a l...


¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Apologize for the shortened column this week, but there are tamales to make . . .   Dear Readers: Gracias, thank you, gracias for another successful year. The Mexican now appears in 32 newspapers across the country, with ...


¡ASK A MEXICAN!

TRES QUESTIONS EDITION   Dear Mexican: U.S.A. citizens are sick and tired that for more than 40 years, Latin American elites have lived like monarchs because they pimp their poor to American businesses for cheap labor that...



¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: I’m sad that there aren’t more Mexicans here in the Detroit area. We’re one of the few areas in the country that is predominately Catholic. We’ve welcomed wave after wave of Catholic immigr...


¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: I was born in beautiful El Paso, and my parents are from Juaritos. I always wondered why Mexican restaurants en los Estados Unidos use queso amarillo—which I associate with los Estados Unidos—on their ...


¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: With a scant four weeks before I cram my mochila with a few clothes for me and a horde of presents (read: bribes) for my future cuñadas, sobrinas, y mi mera suegra, I found myself terror-stricken tonight as...



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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican:Is Lou Dobbs right when he says that close to 80 hospitals in California have been closed down because of the illegals, or is he lying? —Cabrónes No Necesitamos   Dear CNN: Dobbs is right to a certain point,&he...


¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: We were in a restaurant the other day eating some refried beans and green chili, when I overheard some gringos in the next booth making fun of Mexicans. One thing they said which really made me mad was,…


¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: I like to think that I’m an open-minded sorta guy for a teenager. I fervently oppose racial stereotypes, though I do think that they’re good for a laugh or two sometimes. I have several Mexican friends...



¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: I’m a minority, and I know we can be overly sensitive sometimes, but I just can’t stand Carlos Mencia. Not only are his jokes asinine, but I feel they are actually racist. Whereas Dave Chappelle tried ...


¡ASK A MEXICAN!

¡ASK A MEXICAN! SPECIAL DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS EDITION   Dear Mexican: How do I go to the Mexican grocery store and bakery to buy supplies for our Día de los Muertos party without looking like I’m doi...


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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: What is it with the Mexican hang-up on body parts? When General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna was struck by a cannonball at the knee in one of his 8,000 wars, his right leg was removed from the…



¡ASK A MEXICAN!

  Dear Mexican: Why do so many of my peers assume I must have low self-esteem just because I’m dating a Mexican guy? I finally found someone with my same values and who treats me way better than any gringo…


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!ASK A MEXICAN!

[Editor’s note: With this issue, the Weekly heralds the Inland Empire debut of Gustavo Arellano’s “¡Ask a Mexican!” column. Don’t know who Arellano is? Christ, how could you miss him? Dude is everywhere—Colbert, th...


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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans say “¡Ojalá Dios quiere!”? Ojalá refers to Allah the Muslim god, and Dios is the Christian god. Do Mexicans want to cover their bases and get a double blessing, or maybe they canR...



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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: I’ve run into a problem with my wife. I’d like to proudly display our last name on the back window of the family car, but she won’t allow it. How can I convince her that’s it’s a long...


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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Readers: It’s not just questions and racist rants that invade the Mexican’s mailbox–your feedback sneaks under my digital fence, también. Let’s start with Lean Like a K Street Chola, a former gangb...


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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: I had a heated discussion in my van pool with a couple of gringos where they made a comment that immigration (both legal and illegal) needs to stop. I replied jokingly, “Then who will take our orders at…



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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: A new line of Speedy Gonzales clothing came out earlier this year. As a black vendor in a predominantly Mexican market, I immediately thought about selling some of these items. I am 35 and, although I remember the...


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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: Do you agree with immigration rights activists calling Elvira Arellano—who is an illegal immigrant and a criminal I might add—the Mexican Rosa Parks? The very idea that these people refer to her as such is dee...


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¡ASK A MEXICAN!

I am addressing this to both ¡Ask a Mexican! and “Savage Love” hoping one of you will have an answer to this: Why do Mexican chicks yell for their papi during sex? –Daddy del Diablo Dear Readers: Daddy del Di...



¡ASK A MEXICAN!

After the great migration of Jews to this nation, a question was posed: "How long does it take a Jew to go from being a street sweeper to becoming a corporate attorney?" The answer given was, "One generation.&quo...


¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in–gracias for the submissions. Following is a hand...