Past Stories
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: Why do Hispanics deny that George Zimmerman is Hispanic? He did nothing wrong and has been crucified in the media—La Raza cannot bow down to the race baiters and race traitors that call themselves African-Americ...
¡Ask a Mexican!
Dear Readers: Talk about a lazy Mexican—nearly four years after promising ustedes that I was going to write a book about the history of Mexican food in the United States, my Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America is get...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: Stop using Spanish in your column. I like reading your column, but when every other word is in Spanish, I don’t know what the hell is going on. It makes you sound like that nerdy kid who uses…
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: I was born in los Estados Unidos, my father Tamaulipas, and my mother is a third-generation Chicana. Being married to a mexicano, we recently vacationed in his hometown of Apatzingan, Michoacán. It was my first t...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: I work for a major news organization and often have heard the figure of 10 million illegal Mexicans. Unofficially, I have been quoted the number 20 to 25 million illegals, most of them not Mexican. From experience...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: I’m so perplexed by my Mexican neighbor. For one, he already has four girls, and I just saw his wife—and looks like she’s pregnant AGAIN! What really bothers me is that I live in an affordable housing un...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: Aunqué soy Boricua, mi corazón está al lado del pueblo mejicano, aquí en Arizona. ¿Porqué no hablas contra “La Bruja Mala del Oeste” Gobernadora Jan Brewer, “El Leon Cobarde” Ex-Senador Russell Pear...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: I’ve tried and failed to learn the Spanish language for the last two years. During high school and college, I took both Spanish I and Spanish II, but nothing really stuck with me. Last year, I visited a…
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: This question was inspired by the recent video you did on the Republicanos and the Latina/o vote. What’s your opinion of Cuban-American and Tea Party cariñito Marco Rubio? All this talk about him being the “H...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: My family for six generations have been born and raised in Brownsville, Texas. Everyone speaks Spanish most of the time. Right now, almost every Republican in the state is trying to get redistricting to the finish...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: My cousin had put a picture on Facebook that said, “I will not be forced to learn a foreign language to accommodate illegals in my country.” He’s Mexican-American. Our family is from La Luz, Zacatecas, a...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: It’s so sad to see your wimpy answers. Your replies scream self-hatred and self-shame for your raza. You’re pathetic! No plan or desire to fix Mexico’s problems. You’re a puto with no huevos. My DREAM Act ...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Readers: I usually save reruns of my columna for when I have to smuggle in the latest cousin from the rancho, but the ascendancy of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney must be addressed—namely, that he’s half...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: How come Mexicans don’t perform in the Winter Olympics? What—no talent? Or are Mexicans afraid of snow? I’m thinking both. Also, Mexicans don’t do too well in the Summer Olympics, either—they...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: In my hometown of Playa Larga (Long Beach, California), natives refer to a major avenida in our villa, Junipero Avenue (named for Father Junipero Serra, accused native genocider, a candidate for sainthood—but I ...
¡Ask A Mexican!
SPECIAL BEST-OF EDITION
Dear Mexican: Thirteen years old, and I’m jacking off, not knowing I left the bathroom door ajar. Just as I blasted onto the shower curtain, my mom walked in. Aghast, she shouted, “¡Cochino, ...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Readers: In between your fifteenth tamale and sixth spiked cup of ponche, you’re going to have to buy regalos for Christmas or whatever pinche holiday you celebrate. Okay, you don’t have to, but you should, to support ...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: This is the second rant I’ve felt I had to send to you. I don’t know if readers are allowed “seconds” but here it goes: Much has been said about the terrible things happening to the United States…
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: I read in your book that Mexico is due for a revolution about every 100 years or so. The last one was in the first part of the Twentieth Century and you said they are about ready for…
¡Ask A Mexican!
Special “Mexicans are Racist” Edición
Dear Mexican: Having been called a “gabacho” by “Mexicans” much lighter than I and “wetback” by those whose parents (or who themselves) crossed several rivers as they west ...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: GOP Senator Mel Martinez authored a decent compromise bill to resolve the growing illegal immigration problem in the United States. He broke up the group of 11 million illegals into three classes, depending on the...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: Why is Mexico such a dump? Just to name a few of the problems: stray dogs running all over the place, piles of trash burning in the street, blown out tires hanging from cactus by the side of…
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: I am an Anglo intruder in New Mexico. When I moved to Albuquerque from Virginia, I fell in love with Mexican culture. I was impressed at what I called “Southwestern hospitality.” I have had so many second dinn...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: These days, using the word “nigger” is considered so offensive that, in its place, we now use the term “n-word.” Of course, never mind that African-Americans use it amongst themselves as a term of endearme...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: There’s something I’m concerned about, or bothered by. I was born and raised in Mexico, but I’ve been here for eight years. All the talk about 9/11 is too much, because every single year brings a rehash of&h...
Ask a Mexican
Dear Mexican: Really? You answered “When Should You Use Usted Instead of Tú?” recently over my “Why Won’t My Gardener Fuck Me Again If I Demand an HIV Test?” Any sad gabacho can Google for grammar tips (no offen...
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Readers: The Mexican doesn’t want to take this week off, but has to because it’s his mother periódico’s Best Of issue and the Mexican is tasked with eating a thousand tacos in the search for the best one in…
¡Ask A Mexican!
Dear Mexican: I learned Spanish in school as a teen. Then, it seems, because I was young, everybody was an usted. I would like to practice speaking it, but am now an adult and don’t know who gets to be…
