Past Stories
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¡Ask A Mexican!

Special Year-End Edition Dear Mexican: Longtime reader, first-time writer. I need some advice. My wife (who’s a half-Mexican L.A. native, just so you don’t think we’re a couple of white hipster dickheads) and myself (who...


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Special Navidad Edition Dear Mexican: Many of my friends think I’m loco for playing with my dad the way I do. See, mi padre is now retired and living in Mexico, and is very worried that I am now 30…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Special Navidad Gift Guide Edition Dear Readers: Behold your favorite Mexican’s annual Christmas gift guide, where I give shout-outs to some of my favorite books that deserve your money this holiday season! And for once, I wo...



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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: Why is it that many Mexican women hate on me for having an Asian (Korean to be exact) novia? I notice this in a lot of places. We go to the store and I get looks. We go…


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¡Ask a Mexican!

Dear Mexican: In President Bush’s State of the Union address, he reiterated a need for a guest worker program. What is your opinion of such a program? The program seems like mierda that screws people over in the long run…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: I have a problem I need your advice on. My granddaughters were born and raised in Georgia, as was their father. Their knowledge of their culture is zero and I have tried to educate them by talking to…



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¡Ask A Mexican!

Special Texas Edición Dear Mexican: Lately, I’ve noticed a few bands, como Voodoo Glow Skulls, have embraced ska music in both at home and in Mexico. I was curious what the appeal is for Mexicans to ska music? Also, if…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Special Texas Edición Dear Mexican: When are the racial minorities going to give up la causa? We have a black man for el presidente, and as a white middle-aged male, I couldn’t be happier. I have been hearing all of…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: After a year in Spain, I speak more-than-decent Spanish, and I want to get a job in the nonprofit field where I can put it to use and pursue social justice and all that. Thing is, my Spanish…



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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: Why is it that every Mexican I know refuses to eat chocolate? My in-laws drink things I wouldn’t clean my carburetor in. They fill their piñatas with every kind of hard candy—but no chocolate! I bring out a&h...


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Special Best Of Best Of Edition Dear Readers: The Mexican must take the week off because his home paper is publishing its annual Best Of issue—if the devil ever condemns you to visit Orange County, pick up the OC Weekly!…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: Why do so many Chicanos claim to be Aztec? —Chicano Stuck in Leavenworth Dear Gabacho: You’re right. The beaner love for everything Aztec mostly stems from the Chicano Movement, which appropriated various Mexi...



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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: Hey mojado: since when do you think it’s okay to fuck up the facts of your wretched culture and concentrate on the few who have done something with their lives? For the most part, Mexicans are perverted, short,&...


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: Why do gabachos always feel the need to talk about money or trips they have taken? I always notice this when I am at any restaurant, like they don’t have nada más de que hablar. They make a…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: One of your readers wrote a question about “DREAMers,” and I have a thought on the subject. This is not a criticism, although I have criticized your column before. I know that most Hispanics in the United Stat...



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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: What is the reason for the colors of the Mexican flag? Is there any razón it resembles the Italian flag, minus the águila y serpent? Conozco más mexicanos que estadounidenses pero none of mis ‘manitos moreno...


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: I was in a taco shop in the bathroom stall and saw your racist dribble in La Prensa San Diego (the paper was being used as ass wipe I guess). Whatever you say or write will always be…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Readers: The Mexican is currently smuggling mescal out of Oaxaca and into hipster bars nationwide, and thus gives you two oldies-but-goodies. But I do want to give a shout-out to Olympic silver medalist Leo Manzano, a form...



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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: So often when we see Mexican bands perform in the U.S. and Mexico, the crowd at some point starts chanting “¡Cu-le-ro!” (“Ass-hole!”). Why does the crowd yell “Cu-le-ro” at a b...


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: I’m a Mexican-American high school student, and just as patriotic as the Joneses who live next to me. In my neighborhood, a gabacho got mad when someone hung a Mexican flag and ended up cutting it down. I…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: I know I might sound like a gabacho borracho, but I’m really just a gringo trying to make progress towards getting work legally in Mexico, a side of the immigration debate we rarely hear about. Most gringos that...



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Want to Ask A Mexican?

Dear Readers: Have we got a treat for you. If you’re a fan of Ask A Mexican this is one event you won’t want to miss. Gustavo Arellano, author of the Ask A Mexican column and editor at OC Weekly…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: I was wondering about the Spanish going into Mexico and taking the gold and artifacts away from the Indians. Could the Mexican government ask for the gold back? What do you think? —Raider of the Lost Chonis Why&...


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: Magdalena has worked for me many years—15, to be exact. She came over as a mojada with her two little girls when they were four and six. The girls went to school but only until middle school because…



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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: Suppose the United States government and the American public were as progressive and conscious of our country’s true self-interest as are, for example, many European countries; and suppose this had been true in ...


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: Barrack Hussein Obama, how you dare deprive Mexico of its young, educated people. These illegal aliens in the U.S. are the only hope for Mexico and you want to keep them here in the U.S. They could start…


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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: In anticipation of the upcoming Reconquista, I’ve decided that I need a Mexican girlfriend. I feel this will help me fit in better with our new Mexican overlords. However, Mexican ladies must be approached with ...



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¡Ask A Mexican!

Dear Mexican: I’m in this country illegally, but I have a current passport from the country I am from, and I have an international driver’s license. I could not renew my California driver’s license after my travel visa ex...